~~/*\~~ Matheo ~~/*\~~
The Convention was bigger than anything Flora had ever seen before. The attendance was larger than the population of her hometown, and all of them were brothers and sisters.
After years of living in secret, it was overwhelming to be so open.
Though it had been years since the war ended, for most of Europe, it had been a timewarp. Rebuilding the large sections of the world that had been reduced to ruins took a long time, but it felt like the war was still such a recent thing.
And in the heart of Germany, in the very same venue where a now-dead dictator had sworn their extermination, the Witnesses were holding a convention.
~~/*\~~
Matheo didn’t often talk about that part of his life, but he couldn’t refuse the invitation to address the Convention. The War was over, but the scars still remained for most people. Almost everyone had lost at least one relative. As the losing side, most of them had lost a lot more than that. There was a feeling of defeat that filled the country. Alongside it was the relief. They’d survived the largest armed conflict in human history. The front had moved through their streets, back and forth, and they weren’t dead.
All that was left was guilt. The War had been an ugly mirror to some people, showing them how they acted when their backs were against the wall. Most of the general public had survived by keeping their heads down and doing as they were told.
Which is why the open joyfulness at the Convention was so jarring, compared to everything else they’d had at home.
~~/*\~~
“It seems strange, telling the story now.” Matheo admitted. “After a few weeks, you started to forget ‘normal life’. The only thing we did was survive. The only goal we had was to keep waiting. It wasn’t a race. We didn’t cross a finish line. It wasn’t a thrilling adventure.”
Dead silence from the audience. People who had survived such traumas were usually revered by others, but nobody wanted to interrupt or make light of what had happened.
“And that’s okay.” Matheo continued. “Not all stories are going to have exciting happy endings. These things happened, and they were hard, and we did what we could to make the best of it. But our great victory for Jehovah wasn’t in fighting back, or proving anyone wrong. It was in our endurance. The joy is in knowing it’s over now. The hope… That comes from knowing that even the brothers we lost have run their race to the finish, and won. It’s not a happy story. It doesn’t have to be. There are going to be days when Satan is putting us under the gun. There’s no way to make that a feel-good story, but we’ll be telling it for the rest of our lives. The rest of eternity, in fact. Something that our oppressors couldn’t say.”
That got a round of applause from the audience.
The Speaker who was interviewing him asked the questions, prearranged in advance of course, but even so, Matheo could see there had been tears in his eyes as he told the story. “Brother, we know this is a heavy topic for you, but if we may ask: What’s the most important thing you learned from the experience?”
Matheo hesitated, knowing the rehearsed answer, but he felt the words changing as he spoke. “I should say that I learned the real meaning of trusting in Jehovah to give us strength, or the power of leaning on your brothers, and being there for them in return. And that’s true enough, of course. He gave me the strength I needed, even when I had to ask for it, minute by minute. The brothers shared everything they had, while others were desperately hoarding to survive.” He licked his lips. “But I think the most valuable thing is this: I’ve learned the value of just holding on.” He spread his hands wide. “Most times of trial and tribulation aren’t huge, aren’t life-threatening. Most days you just have to deal with mundane things that wear away at you. And when you do that every single day, for years; even decades… it can be easy to forget that we’re all just temporary residents in this life. The War is over, and we’re free of the Camps. But the System hasn’t ended, and that means our job hasn’t either. What I’ve learned is that most days, you only have to make it through until tomorrow. Because tomorrow the sun will rise, and maybe this race we’re running will come to a sudden end, or maybe your war will be over. We talk about feeling the ‘Peace of God’ to help us get through the day-to-day stresses, but when that feeling comes in a place like a Prison Camp… I’d love for every brother and sister in the world to have that feeling. But I wouldn’t wish the experience of getting there on anyone else.”
The Speaker nodded. “Even so, I think we can all be thankful to know that our brothers had that help from the Spirit during their trials.”
“And I am thankful to know that God won’t hold it back from His people when their own time of trial comes.” Matheo responded.
The audience burst into applause, loud and long, and Matheo stepped off the stage, feeling his hands shake.
Jehovah God, thank you for Your help. He prayed as he returned to his seat. Giving a talk is something I’ve done many, many times. Talking about the War is something I don’t do at all. Thank you for helping me get through it. He smothered a smile as he sat down next to Flora. She squeezed his hand affectionately without speaking. And thank you for what comes next. I consider it my reward for getting through the interview on stage.
~~/*\~~
Matheo held Flora’s hand to steady her, as she stepped down into the water. The weight of his hand at her back was familiar now, and she was grateful for it as she lay back for her baptism.
She came up and heard people applauding, but the only person she looked to was Matheo, who beamed at her proudly. There was a line backing up behind her. Many people had been waiting for the war to end. But she took the moment to hug him tightly. “I wish Dad could have been here for this.”
“He would have been so proud.” Matheo whispered back. “I certainly am.”
~~/*\~~
Flora didn’t wait for him before starting her own lunch. There was a long line of people getting Baptized that day. Matheo joined her as soon as he could, but every two or three steps, there was someone stopping him to shake his hand, or congratulate him for his endurance. They’d all seen him on stage, and while only a minority stopped to talk, it felt like everyone in the crowd recognized him.
Their numbers had been kept a secret during the time under oppression, even from each other. Very few in the organization knew how to find everyone. With the oppressors gone, and everyone out of hiding, the updated figures were making their way slowly around the organization. The Witnesses were always a minority. Even after thousands of their people had been arrested, they’d almost been ‘lost in the crowd’ as the Nazi’s had butchered millions of people mercilessly.
Even if they hadn’t been counted, officially, their numbers had swelled dramatically under ban. Even if they hadn’t been caught, the resolve of the Congregation had been hardened by the years of threat. They were stronger than ever, and joyful that they had passed the test.
In a nation of people who were trying to shake off the funk of having lost the war, to say nothing of being despised by much of the world, the joyfulness was jarring.
“How do you feel?” Flora asked Matheo as they ate lunch. “You told the audience some things that you didn’t tell me.”
“It’s Strange. Everyone’s so… welcoming. So appreciative.” Matheo said slowly, looking around.
“Isn’t that expected, at a JW convention?” Flora blinked.
“It is, but not anywhere else.” Matheo admitted. “We live in a small town, Flora. When I got out of the Camp, everyone knew me. They knew who I was, what I stood for, and where I had been during the War. Nobody back home would meet my eyes for weeks. Nobody liked to be reminded of what was happening in their neighborhood. They really don’t like being reminded that they survived by doing what they were told; while others didn’t get the option.”
“I never got that kind of treatment.” Flora winced. “I lost my dad, but I never got put in the Camps…”
“Don’t say that like it makes you lesser than us. You had your own war to fight, kid.” Matheo said, not for the first time. “That’s why we’re here. Because we both won.”
“You looked good up there.” Flora offered as he ate. Matheo didn’t respond to that. He was eating his lunch, but she doubted he tasted it. She could see him sliding into a memory.
Flora had known him for years by this point. He had been her legal guardian since the war. He’d been a good father figure, and they’d been good for each other, but she’d heard him crying out in nightmares. Every now and then, his eyes would go dark, and he’d bunch his fists tightly, trying to ward off whatever thought was consuming his mind. She knew not to push. It wasn’t unusual. Many people had such dark turns nowadays.
Going up on stage to speak about his experiences had been something he’d initially been against, but he’d decided to do it anyway, in honor of the brothers that hadn’t survived. After his part on stage ended, it was clear he was barely paying attention to the Program anymore. He hadn’t even seemed aware of his surroundings until the Baptism.
“Matheo!”
Matheo jumped, breath rushing from his lungs, like whatever he’d been thinking about suddenly came to life and pounced on him. Breathing hard, he turned slowly, towards the voice. His eyes were wide with shock. Even fear.
Flora looked too, wondering what had set him off like that.
Josef strolled up to them, with a warm smile on his face. A small girl was beside him, some years younger than Flora. She looked shy, but interested.
Matheo and Josef regarded each other for a long moment, and Flora watched them awkwardly, trying to figure out what was happening.
Without taking his eyes off Josef, Matheo gestured at her. “Josef, this is Flora. Oskar’s daughter. Flora, this is Josef. I don’t believe you’ve ever met him.”
Josef froze, and turned his full attention to Flora, staring into her like he was trying to find something. He looked hard at her for a long time, before nodding, and holding out his hand to her. “Flora. This is… a great pleasure to meet you. I knew your father. He was a good man.”
And that comment put everything into place. How they knew each other. How this man she’d never met must have known her father. Every household in Europe had a story like this. The War’s legacy was still defining the lives of everyone. She knew not to press for details.
The girl beside Josef was still young enough not to be embarrassed by the sudden turn in the conversation. “Nice to meet you both. My father was stunned to see you on stage, sir.”
Matheo turned to the girl like he’d only just noticed her. “Your father?” He looked up at Josef. “She…”
Josef nodded. “This is Elisa. My daughter. Turned out she survived.” He glanced at Flora. “Why don’t you two go for a walk? Matheo and I have much to discuss.”
Flora glanced at Matheo, who nodded agreement. The two of them headed off, leaving Matheo and Josef to take stock of each other for a moment, before the two older men fell into a tight hug. They weren’t exactly friends, but they’d been through the same journey together.
Once the embrace broke, they sat down and started to talk. “So. You took in Oskar’s daughter?”
“It seemed like the thing to do.” Matheo agreed. “Plenty of orphans in the world right now. People are finding new families and homes all over the place.” He nodded. “She saw me in the refugee camp, and came running. When she realized I didn’t have her father with me…” He sighed hard. “It’s good that people can start over, no matter what they’ve had taken from them. It’s not clean, and it’s not easy; but it’s right.”
“It is.” Josef agreed. “I couldn’t believe it when I found out my daughter was alive.”
~~/*\~~
To the casual observer, they could have been sisters, walking around the crowd of people who were enjoying their lunch, having conversations and reunions of their own. The youngest of children stayed close to their parents, or ran and played, shrieking with excitement, regardless of their fine clothes.
“The War was scary.” Elisa said as she walked with Flora. “But really, what I remember most is the boredom.” She tilted her head back, enjoying the sunlight on her face. “I was hidden in a wallspace by a nice older lady who knew my mom. She knew the penalty for hiding Jews, but she didn’t care.” She yawned. “Felt like I spent three years in a coffin, listening to rats and spiders scuttle around in the walls with me. You’d think it was terrifying, but once you get used to it, it’s just… dull. Waiting for something to happen.”
“And when something happened, you were terrified.” Flora guessed.
“Wasn’t any other way to be.” Elisa said, far too cynical for someone so young. “They eventually figured out that her rations meant she had someone else in the house. They searched the house twice, but didn’t find me. So they quartered soldiers with her. She had room, after all, and when the war was getting close to over…”
Flora nodded. “I was looking over my shoulder for the whole war. When they caught my father, I was put with a foster family. But they had secrets of their own, and after about a year, they were taken away too.” She shook her head wryly. “I didn’t even know about it. One day I was at school, and when I came back to their place, they weren’t there. An hour later, I saw the police coming, and I ran out the back door, hopped the backyard fence and hid.”
“What were your foster parents taken for?” Elisa asked, curious.
“Not sure, but I think they were married as a cover. Maybe they adopted me for the same reason, you know?” Flora shrugged. There had been secrets and cover stories in every part of their lives for the duration of the War. “The good thing was, whatever they were doing in their ‘free time’ it left me free for ‘underground’ work of my own. When my ‘foster parents’ were taken, I stayed with other brothers, who hid me in their garage. Whenever I went out, I delivered food and copies of the Watchtower to others in the area.” She nodded to Flora. “Lots of boredom, with moments of terror. Every time I passed one of those uniforms in the street, I thought for sure I was going to be caught.”
“Until I found my ‘hiding place’, I had a few moments like that too.” Elisa agreed. “But I didn’t have to worry. I just had to look scared. They liked that I was scared.” She rolled her eyes. “As long as I trembled helplessly in their presence, they didn’t look twice at me.”
“Yeah, I knew a guy like that. He was in my class, then he joined the Hitler Youth, then they put him in the army. He looked up everyone he didn’t like and made them salute him.” Flora agreed. “Saw him again last week. He couldn’t look at me.” She sighed. “I asked if they wanted me to ‘share my story’ on stage. Matheo says I’m too young to be this used to wartime intrigue.”
“My dad says the same thing.” Elisa nodded. “I don’t think there are any ‘children’ in Germany or Austria anymore. The whole Continent’s an orphanage now.” She flushed, eyes going to her swiftly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, it’s fine. Besides, it’s true.” Flora waved it off. “Matheo took me in. I think he felt like he owed it to my father, but I’m old enough to be on my own. There are plenty of people in town who didn’t have anyone left to take them in. But it’s been good, having him around.”
“I couldn’t believe it when I found my father was alive.” Elisa agreed, solemn. “We went back to Temple once the war was over.” She shivered. “So many empty seats.”
Flora had the sense not to say anything to that. Their first meetings after the JW Ban was lifted were packed with people. More than there had ever been before.
“I had questions.” Elisa said seriously. “Our Rabbi didn’t survive. Nobody else even knew where to start. You can probably guess the questions I had.”
She nodded. She’d been hearing them all through the War.
“Finally, I asked my father. Why? Where was God during all this?” Elisa said quietly. “And for the first time, he told me all about what went on in the Labor camp.” She reached out and squeezed Flora’s hand. “He told me about your father, too.”
Something suddenly occurred to Flora. “Your father… He brought you here.”
“I asked him to.” Elisa nodded. “I wanted to know where God stood during the war. What would happen now that it was over.” She spread her hands wide. “I come from a culture with a long history of losing faith and then getting it back, as a nation. I wanted to know if that’s what was happening here. My father told me not to ask him anymore.” Elisa shook her head. “And then he suggested I go and talk to Jehovah’s Witnesses. Apparently, he was impressed by your people.”
“That’s… very nice of him.” Flora commented, surprised.
“I started studying. Just the basics, about Good and Evil.” Elisa nodded. “My father didn’t want me to convert to Christianity, but he admitted that Witnesses are not hypocritical and seem to have a ‘special understanding with the universe’. We heard about the Convention, and decided to come for a day.” She smiled. “Papa nearly passed out when he saw Matheo on stage.”
“Matheo was an inch away from deciding not to go through with it.” Flora confided. “Some guys don’t like to talk about it.”
“Neither does Papa.” Elisa agreed. “But he made an exception for this, because I asked him to.”
“And your father? Where does he stand?”
Elisa shook her head. “He’s gone through a nightmare for being Jewish. It’s a race as much as a religion. Maybe moreso, these days. He won’t abandon it now. But he’s decided God isn’t listening, if He’s there at all. Me, I’m not sure. If God has left us to face the consequences of our actions, so be it. He’s done it before, at least to my Rabbi. He says that the point was: God always took us back.”
“And now?” Flora challenged. “What do you think after hearing the Convention Program?”
“It… makes sense, I guess.”
Flora just looked at her.
~~/*\~~
Back at their seats, Matheo and Josef were having a very similar conversation,
“My problem is: Answers like ‘why is there suffering’ make sense for the ‘overall’ problem of evil in the world. But…”
“But the suffering you go through is far less abstract, and about as personal as a punch in the nose?” Matheo summed up helpfully.
“Right.” Josef agreed. “Coming to love God isn’t easy at the best of times, when He’s bigger than the whole wide world. Especially a world that’s just plain evil. And if the scriptures are right, and there’s evil in the world because our ancestors chose to step away from God’s authority, then it means we’re only getting worse with each generation. It means humanity is the problem.”
~~/*\~~
“Even hoping for Paradise, how do you live with people that are just plain rotten?” Elisa asked Flora, wondering the same thing.
Flora took that seriously. “I thought the same thing, when Matheo told me my father didn’t survive.” She admitted. “But Matheo told stories of what my dad did during his imprisonment. How he kept others going in the hardest moments. The scriptures he would quote that gave him hope and courage.” She shivered. “Paradise wasn’t a dream to him. And now that he’s gone, I finally understand why. Because he was happy to hear about a world without war or hunger, but the thing that moved him to tears of joy, even in the Labor Camp?”
Elisa nodded, already knowing. “The idea of seeing your mother again.”
Flora nodded. “You’re right. Suffering is personal. Evil is personal. But so is God. My father knew that. Matheo knows that.” She gestured out at the crowd. “Everyone here came to this convention because they know it too.”
Elisa nodded, tearing up. “I want that.” She said quietly.
~~/*\~~
“I don’t agree.” Josef said seriously. “No disrespect to you, or Oskar’s daughter, or anyone here. But if there is a God, then He owes us an apology, not the other way around.”
“Well. You wouldn’t be the only survivor to think so.” Matheo conceded, not pushing it too hard. “Does your daughter agree?”
“My daughter wants to believe that something Good has the final say over our lives. I want that too, but wanting it doesn’t make it true. It certainly seems like all my life experience is pointing the other way.”
Matheo pulled out his Bible. “I can’t say you’re wrong. But if you think that, why are you here?”
“My daughter asked to come. She met some of your people while they were preaching, and got curious, so she asked what I knew about the ‘Watchtower people’.” He inclined his head to Matheo “I told her the truth. While the Churches of the world were all hanging the swastika like good citizens and recruiting soldiers for every side of the War to kill each other all around the world… The Jehovah’s Witnesses were staying in the Camps, day by day, without compromising on so much as a salute.” He gestured the way the girls had gone. “My daughter is Jewish by birth. If she decides to be Christian by Religion, then so be it. I learned never to judge people for how they keep their souls alive. Everyone found ways to cope with what they went through.” He looked Matheo in the eye. “And the only Christian denomination I’ll accept into my family is yours.”
“Thank you for that.” Matheo said emotionally. He looked down at his Bible, then back up at Josef. “I remember when it was worth our lives to have just a few pages of this book.
“Ignaz was right about one thing. Safest place to keep those words is in your memory.” Josef admitted. “‘And they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more’.”
Sentimental silence. Matheo and Josef had both gone somewhere else in their minds for a moment. Josef noticed one or two other people nearby had gone silent while Matheo was reading. The verse had hit them too. Everyone knew what war did.
Josef said nothing for a long moment, but he shook it off. “Sure. I’ll concede that it’s written in the Psalms and all, but so are a lot of things. My people, my culture…. To say nothing of my family, are going to carry the scars of evil for a hundred generations. I fear that the legacy of my people is ‘constant suffering’.”
~~/*\~~ Emet ~~/*\~~
The Jordan River was in a flooding phase. It would take weeks for the waters to retreat.
But the Levites didn’t hesitate. The Priests, carrying the Ark, marched straight to the water, not even slowing their pace as they reached the riverbank. The instant their feet touched the water, the river rumbled. The flow jerked back suddenly, retreating from them.
Assembled with his Tribe, back from the river’s edge, Emet got a quick look of the River, further upstream. Far upriver, the water had stopped flowing forwards, as though it had slammed into an invisible wall, backing up solidly.
Emet rested a hand on one of the scrolls. He’d heard his father speak of the Red Sea ‘standing on end’ often, and while the Jordan wasn’t quite as vast, it ran much faster, and the effect seemed exactly the same.
Jehovah of Armies, Emet prayed. I can’t help but think that my parents would have turned back. Or at least, the people they knew would have. Someone would have insisted we wait for the waters to recede on their own. But the priests of my Generation didn’t even slow their pace.
The Priests Carrying the Ark paused in the middle of the suddenly dry riverbed, and the trumpets sounded. The nation started walking, crossing the river at a steady march. Some of the Levites started to sing songs of praise, and the rest of the assembly quickly picked up the tune, millions of voices shouting in praise.
“We made it, mother.” Emet said aloud. “After generations of slavery, and another generation of exile, somehow we left behind the worst parts of our past, and we made it. That’s the legacy of our people. No matter how long it took, we actually got there.”
~~/*\~~ Flora ~~/*\~~
“Well. Our world is picking up the pieces of a very dark time.” Elisa said quietly. “My father is alive, and so am I. There was a long stretch of my life where that seemed impossible on its own.”
Flora nodded, suddenly feeling tired herself. “We are way too young to be thinking these thoughts.”
“So everyone keeps telling me.” Elisa agreed. “But I like what I heard here. And my father speaks very highly of Jehovah’s Witnesses. He says he has ‘seen what you’re made of’ and whatever he saw, he found it good.” She shrugged. “I guess… I still have questions.”
“Well. Why don’t you sit with us for the rest of the Program?” Flora asked, brightening. “And if you still have more questions after, you can ask them.”
Elisa smiled, and Flora put her arm in hers. “Let’s go find the adults. They’re helpless without us.”
Elisa laughed, and the two of them headed off together.
~/*\~~/*\~~/*\~
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