Chapter Five: Setback

 By the next morning, Ellis had shaken off the guilt, or at least pushed it back. Debra was right. If he confessed to Del, it wouldn’t help anyone. There was only risk, and no reward.

Is cost-benefit really the only reason to be honest? A little voice nagged at him, but he pushed it away.

The family was having breakfast. Ellis was frying up a pan of eggs and bacon for himself as Debra worked doggedly to get Gigi fed without a mess. Piper was flicking channels, munching an apple.

Ellis saw the breaking news out of the corner of his eye and turned to face the television. “Wait! Go back!”

Piper did so. The screen filled with an image of a reporter, standing in front of a street that was filled with debris. The police were roping the street off, and there were ambulances in view. “-of what happened. The Turtledove Institute opened over a year ago, and there were no reports of metal fatigue or structural weakness in any of the official inspection reports. But with the police ruling out deliberate sabotage, and the fire department saying it wasn’t an accidental explosion; there’s no clear indication of what caused the building facade to suddenly collapse onto the street. But even before the Institute was open for business hours, the street had pedestrians on their way to work. The last count has over a dozen injured, and two killed-”

Ellis stared hard at the television, mentally reviewing if the Turtledove Institute was one of his sites. It wasn’t. Not my fault. He reassured himself. Make doubly sure. Do you know who built that place? Was it one of the Site Managers I know? One of the ones likely to leave an envelope full of-

And then the smoke alarm went off. He’d forgotten his bacon completely. The piercing tone sent Gigi into a squall, and Debra quickly scooped her out of her hi-chair and into another room. Piper waved a towel at the smoke alarm to disperse the burning smell of breakfast, as Ellis rushed to clean up.

“You know the building?” His eldest daughter guessed.

“Never been there.” Ellis admitted as he scooped his ruined meal into the bin. “Obviously, I take a professional interest in such stories.”

“I’m surprised anyone’s able to build anything unsafe anymore.” Piper observed, not even looking up from her phone. “Didn’t you tell me that building equipment is made to code, and regulations require ‘x’ amount of everything just so? ‘By the numbers’ you called it.”

“I did.” Ellis admitted. “But the site manager leaves something out to save money, the inspector misses it and gives everyone a clean bill of health…” He felt his mouth shut with a click. Why was he telling his teenage daughter about this?

~/*\~

“Why are you talking to me about this?” Debra asked, with just the slightest hitch in her voice. “Did the building collapse have something to do with you?”

“You’re my wife. Last time I made any kind of move at work without telling you, it was… bad.”

“Not what I mean.” Debra shook her head. “You’ve never confided in me about this sort of thing before. If you want to do your job better, do you really think I’m going to fight you on it?”

“I know you won’t.” He sighed. “But…” He paused. What are you going to say? That’s sharing this with her is what Del would do with Eleanor, and you want to be more like them? “I was… recently reminded that when either half of a married couple has a problem, it should be ‘husband and wife and against it’, rather than ‘husband against wife’s problem’ and vice versa.”

Debra reacted to that more strongly than he thought she would. “You haven’t been an inspector that long. You think if that building collapse was one of your sites, it would have been on you?”

“I don’t know. But whoever last inspected that collapsed building is going to be getting a phone call today.” Ellis admitted.

“What does that mean for you?” Debra asked.

“Nothing.” Ellis said automatically. “I didn’t have anything to do with the Turtledove Institute.”

But inwardly, he knew what she meant. Maybe another inspector had taken ‘bonuses’ when the Building was being constructed. Maybe Jerrold had helped another friend through the ‘recruitment process’.

“I’m your wife.” She said seriously. “Talk to me.”

Ellis sighed. “The news… The implications are chilling. I’ve looked the other way on some things. Little things, but I did it just the same.”

“We have a joint bank account, husband.” She reminded him. “Did you think I hadn’t noticed you have more spending money?”

“What I’ve done could never cause a building to fall down.” Ellis said seriously. “If I thought it could, I would never have done it. But I wonder how many of those sites have taken it ‘just a little step further’ than what I’ve been willing to ignore?” He shook his head, sick at himself. “I’ve always said ‘everyone does it’, and that’s true enough. But… everyone does it. And today a building fell down.”

She frowned. “Y’know, I wasn’t sure about you taking this job. But it’s yours now. Whatever else, it’s your… your place. Your job. We always say that your job is what you do, more than who you are, but it makes a difference, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does.”

~/*\~

It was only a few hours later he was at work. And as if the fates were taunting him, it was one of Darrel’s sites.

Feeling a fire blaze somewhere in his belly, Ellis marched straight past the foreman who was coming to greet him, and went to the construction itself. He stopped at the concrete mixer, running a finger through the mix, feeling the texture. “You screwed up the ratios.”

“It’ll set.” The foreman promised.

“It’ll set, but it’ll be weaker. So that you could use less cement, right?” Ellis didn’t even stop to listen, marching to the fuse box next. Over the course of half an hour, he’d spotted every cost-cutting measure they used; every trick a foreman could attempt to keep back some money for themselves. He almost knew them all by rote.

How did I not see how used to this I was getting? Ellis berated himself as he quickly wrote everything down on his clipboard. “Sorry, Mister Pilgrim. I know it’s your first site with Darrel, but you’ve got a lot more work to do before I can approve you.”

Pilgrim looked around awkwardly, not realizing he was only drawing attention to himself, and he reached into his pocket, pulling out an unmarked envelope. “Well, the boss mentioned that these sorts of expenses are commonplace, and-”

“Are you kidding me?” Ellis was floored. He knew it was inexperience, and that the kid was doing exactly what Darrel told him to do, but the clumsiness of the offer was an insult. “Seriously: Look at this list of violations.”

The foreman hefted the envelope. “I don’t have any more than-” The young man blinked, stammering out his confusion. “I-I was assured that-” He caught himself. “I mean, it was my understanding that you didn’t give any quarter on safety or foundation work, but the rest was…”

“Was what? Unimportant?” Ellis challenged. “Is this the sort of thing you want to take chances on? This is somebody’s home. It’s the place they live, spend all their time in. It’s the place their children will grow up. It’s their nest egg to fall back on, if the worst should happen. It’s the legacy they leave their grandkids, if all goes right. This place is a life. For one person, or a dozen, for all we know.” And as Ellis poured all that out, he was struggling not to cry, the revelation hitting him even as he was saying it. “They all are! Every building, every site. Why are we trying to make them worse… for pennies?”

Dead silence on the site.

Ellis glared at the envelope, and the young man swiftly put it away, surprised that he was still holding it, alarmed that people were looking. “Sir, it’s just… It’s such a little thing, but it’s going to cost us… I don't even know, but a lot, to get it up to code before our deadline.”

“But if you’re honest in the little things, you will be for the big things.” Ellis said. “And if it’s time consuming, then surely you’ll remind your client that you get paid by the hour. Darrel has done that before, as I recall.”

The Foreman nearly gulped at the implication. It wasn’t a secret, but Ellis was saying the unspoken part out loud. Something nobody was meant to do.

“Getting ‘up to code’ is meant to be the bare minimum we do. Not the maximum we can get away with.” Ellis turned to go. “I’m sure Darrel will find some way to pad his bill anyway; but it won’t be on this. Not today. Not because of me.”

There were at least four people watching. Several more paying attention, though facing the other way. Even with their eyes following him, Ellis felt better, knowing he’d done the right thing.

~/*\~

It was less than an hour later, as Ellis drove through downtown, looking for a decent coffee cart, that his phone rang. He hit the hands-free button to answer as he drove. “Hello?”

It was Darrel. “I understand there’s a problem?”

“No, no problem.” Ellis assured him. “Maybe for the first time, in fact, everything went right.”

“I thought we had an understanding, Ellis.”

“And I thought you weren’t my boss anymore.”

“You’re acting like there’s nothing in this for you, son.” Darrel reminded him. “You’ve gotten as much out of this as I have. If you decide you don’t want to be part of things anymore, the ‘benefits’ stop. I could even have your license revoked.” Darrel warned.

“No, you couldn’t. There are laws making sure that someone like you doesn’t get to have influence over someone in my job.” Ellis warned. “In fact, there are laws to make sure you couldn’t have any say in me getting this job. You sure you want to keep pushing where you’re not meant to be?”

“You really want to find out?” He warned.

“I really don’t.”

“So, what is this? Your ‘cut’ isn’t enough anymore?”

“I’m not testing you, or pushing for a bigger slice. But I want to do the job right from now on.” Ellis admitted.

“I don’t believe you.” Darrel sniped simply.

“Believe what you like. But watching buildings fall down on the morning news is more than reason enough for me.” Ellis told him. “And just out of curiosity, what would you say? That you called in favors to get me hired, so you’d have someone who could be intimidated into letting you do a substandard job? That you know I took a bribe before, because you gave it to me?” Ellis challenged. “Or that the reason you turned me in was because I wouldn’t do it again?”

“I could do it anonymously.”

“And I could have a snap inspection of two or three sites you finished building since I became an inspector. The evidence of your work is all on paper, and in the finished product. It’s not like you can hide the building you finished construction of months ago.”

Stalemate.

“There was a time when a man could be counted on.” Darrel sneered.

Ellis felt like he’d dodged a bullet once he hung up the phone. The intensity of the moment nearly made him sweat. Settling back into his seat, Ellis bowed his head. Jehovah God, he prayed. I don’t know if I’m allowed to do this yet. I don’t know if You’ll hear me, and I’m still debating whether or not You’re really real at all. I don’t know if You hear the prayers of people who aren’t devout and religious, but still want to be… good people, or at least honest people-

At that moment, his phone started to ring. “Mister Ellis Roberton?”

Ellis blinked. “Yes?”

“This is Archie Farnham, from the Sentinel. I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions.”

A journalist? “I can’t imagine what you’d want to ask me about.” Ellis said honestly.

“Well, I’m writing a story about the council planning office, and I was hoping I could get your help with some of the background.”

“I’m sure the council has a press office.”

“It does, but I prefer to get information, instead of buzzwords.” The answer came, and Ellis could hear the cynical grin. “What I’m looking for is ‘deep background’. I need to understand something, and I think you should be the one to educate me.”

“That’s very flattering, but I’m not sure I should-”

“I promise, it’ll be a short conversation. Just a few little details that I need to make sure of.”

“Due respect, but if this was a simple matter of routine details, you wouldn’t be calling me. On, or off the record, I’d rather not be involved.”

“If you’re honest in the little things, you will be for the big things.” Farnham said swiftly.

Ellis froze, thumb over the ‘disconnect’ button. The man had just quoted Ellis’ own words back at him. The words, and their meaning wasn’t a cause for concern. But the fact that a journalist had been able to quote, directly, a conversation that Ellis had less than an hour before, meant that he was talking to someone involved. “Deep background, huh?”

“Maybe not so deep.” The reporter admitted. “But I promise, nothing will be attributed to you, on or off the record. I’m not hunting anyone you know, I just… need someone to educate me about a few things. Nobody will know.”

Ellis bit his lip. “I was… about to get myself a cup of coffee. You feel like meeting me there?”

“Coffee’s a basic food group for reporters. Name the place.”

~/*\~

“This is beyond me.” Ellis admitted. “I have a long history of keeping my head down. Talking to reporters is not ‘keeping your head down’.”

“No.” Farnham admitted. “But there are some pretty specific laws that keep me from revealing my sources, even in an article, should I ever get to print one.”

“There are laws about all sorts of things.” Ellis responded cynically. “Doesn’t stop anyone.”

The two of them each ordered a large coffee to go, and made their way to Ellis’ car, where they sat to speak in private. The journalist tapped at his phone, and turned the screen to Ellis. “Do you recognize this man?”

It was a mugshot of an old man, with a face hard as stone. “No.” Ellis said honestly.

“His name is Grant, and I’m pretty sure he’s running a criminal operation from inside a prison cell.”

“This is the part where you tell me what we’re actually talking about. Off the record.” Ellis said sharply.

“Just because Grant is in jail doesn’t mean he’s being good.” Farnham explained. “There’s a long history of kickbacks and bribery in the construction and inspection business. For one or two well-placed people, it’s a cottage industry. It’s just a question of how many people are involved, and how many are just doing what their bosses tell them to. Your ‘promotion’ was the first thing that connected Darrel to Jerrold in some way.”

“I thought it was strange that I got approved as an inspector so fast.” Ellis admitted. “I didn’t report it because… well, what was I going to say? That I got a new job too easily?” His head sank into his hands, a cold sweat breaking out on his back, heat flushing into his face. “Am I in trouble?”

“I have an off-the-record source that says the DA has opened an investigation into the local council. They think Grant has his finger in a few pies.”

“Including me?”

“No. Including Jerrold.”

“You don’t mind telling me this?” Ellis was surprised. “I mean, I know that journalists don’t work under the same rules as cops, but if you tip off the subject of an investigation, aren’t you committing a crime?”

“But you aren’t being investigated. Not yet, anyway. The only person who can tip off Jerrold is you.” Farnham said lightly. “But I don’t think you’ll tip him off. Neither does the DA’s office, or so my sources told me five minutes before I called you. Apparently you put your foot down in a most convincing way”

“They have my phone tapped!?” The second he said it, Ellis swiftly understood. “No. Not mine. Darrel.”

Farnham grinned. “Some guys are in so deep there’s nothing to do but lock them up. You? You’re looking to redeem yourself. I used to be a court reporter. I see that look on a lot of guys during cross-examination. They get caught, and it all comes pouring out of them; finally coming clean about their worst sins. I recognize someone who got conned. You’re looking for an out.”

“It’s good for the soul, right?” Ellis croaked, feeling his scalp break out in pins and needles. Dear god, so close...

“Right.” Farnham nodded. “Look, I’ve got some contacts on the police force. They’re looking for specific people. People that the bad guys send to collect ill-gotten money. If any of those people have been nosing around construction sites when you’re there? Then that’s a good story for me, and a slam-dunk for the Law. I’m racing the Lawmen to figure out who’s dirty, and who’s clean.”

“Why race them at all? They’re the Law, and they’re investigating. If you get into it, aren’t you just going to make it harder? Tip someone off? Even get yourself arrested for obstruction?”

“If the DA’s right, and Grant is running this scam from inside jail; then there’s no way there isn’t at least one cop helping him do it.” Farnham grinned savagely. “While the cops watch your employers, I’ll watch them. If one of them fixes the investigation; then it’s an even better story for me.”

Not one honest man anywhere in this whole sordid tale. Ellis thought in jaded awe.

~/*\~

The reporter had him looking at pictures for twenty minutes, before thanking him for his help, and wishing him a good day. Ellis felt like he’d dodged an oncoming train. Once he was alone in his car, he sank into his seat like his skeleton had been pulled out.

God? He prayed, as if picking up where he left off from his last one. If I’d waited even a day longer to do my job right, I’d be under investigation too. For years, I’d wondered if taking any kind of stand, making any kind of effort, was really worth the trouble. I just got my answer. I owe Del… and maybe I owe You too.

~/*\~

By the time he pulled into his home driveway, he was nearly dancing in his seat. He’d become one of the good guys again. Ellis felt better than he had in weeks. Maybe years.

He swept into the house. “Hello, family!” He greeted them.

Piper jumped at his enthusiasm. “What’s up?”

“I need a reason to be happy when I come home?” Ellis was already past the kitchen and into the hallway.

Debra was in the bedroom, flipping through the opened mail. “I had to fill the car up today, so the credit cards are getting tight. The bills are starting to pile-”

He took the mail out of her hand, and turned her around to face him. “The bills have been piling up for twenty years, wife.” He said easily, and bent her backwards for a movie-star kiss.

Debra was startled, but giggling once they broke. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Had a good day.” He excused. “When you’re on a winning streak, you don’t mess with it.”

“When was the last time you came home from work ‘on a winning streak’?” Nevertheless, his wife seemed pleased to see him in such a mood.

“Why don’t we go out tonight? Nothing fancy, just dinner and drinks?” He wanted to celebrate. “We haven’t had a date night in ages.”

~/*\~

Dressed up for the night, they left their oldest in charge of the house.

“You know when I turn twenty one, I’ll want to go to the bar with you, right?” Piper called after them.

“Who wants to go to a bar with their parents?” Debra retorted. “The second you hit eighteen you’ll be outta here so fast you’ll leave fire-trails.”

“I wanna watch my movie!” Gigi shouted.

Piper was already staring into her phone. “Fine. Use the headphones.”

~/*\~

He’d told her everything over dinner.

“So, what are you now? An undercover agent, or something?” Debra asked, and she seemed really interested to find out the answer. It was the first time he’d had something interesting to share about his day in ages.

“I asked, but apparently not. My refusal this afternoon means that I’m likely to be off the list of ‘trustworthy’ employees.” Ellis admitted. “Their more ‘creative’ bookkeeping? There are a hundred other guys like me they could use for that.”

“Good. It was one thing when you were trying to keep your job, but you don’t get involved with that sort of thing. I’ve seen those movies. It’s always the guy like you who gets caught in the shootout at the end.” Debra nodded, pleased. “You made it, Ellis. You got out before it cost us everything.”

“Not like last time?” Ellis guessed.

Her face stilled. “I didn’t say that.”

“I know. But if I’m being honest, I’ve been mentally adding it to the end of every conversation since the Crash.” Ellis admitted. “I haven’t been so easy to live with, love. I’m not proud of this, but I haven’t really liked what I’ve seen in the mirror.”

“I haven’t really made it better. For me, or for you.” She admitted.

“Darrel pushed me to get this job because he figured I was too weak to stand up to him. And he was right. If I’d waited a day longer to say ‘no’, the cops would have a file on me right now.” He reached across the table and took her hands in his. “It was a wakeup call. No more coasting along. I can’t guarantee I’ll be getting a promotion any time soon, but I’m going to do things better from now on.”

And Debra’s eyes shone with unshed tears as she leaned across the table to kiss him passionately. “I love you.” She said when they broke. “I know I don’t say it as much as I used to, but I love you so much.”

And this day just gets better and better. Ellis smiled broadly.

~/*\~

Dinner was over, and they were both smiling as they headed towards home. She touched his hand and gestured at the bar as they drove past. “Want to stop in for a drink? Piper can handle things at home for a little while longer.”

Ellis smiled, not wanting their date night to end yet either.

They parked and walked into the Bar. Ellis didn’t even notice Patty's car in the employee section of the parking lot. They walked into the place, hand in hand. She gestured to a booth that was free. “I’ll get us some drinks. Your usual?”

“Sure.” Ellis smiled, and they parted, her heading to the bartender, and him to the booth. He paused at the jukebox, making a quick selection, and sliding into the booth.

“Hey, you.” A familiar voice said, and Ellis felt his heart stop. Patty was suddenly at his elbow with a nostalgic smile. “Welcome back. Know what you want?”

Debra came up behind Patty, a glass in each hand. “I ordered at the bar.”

Patty straightened instantly, her face changing to a flawless waitress welcome. “Sorry, ma’am.” She demurred. “Didn’t realize you’d ordered drinks yourself. Anything else I can get you folks? Some food?”

“We’ve eaten, thanks.” Debra shook her head, sliding into the booth with her husband.

“You guys have a good night.” Patty said brightly, striding off.

Ellis tried to get his heart rate back to normal, wondering if his expression was as scared as it felt for half a second. Debra slid into the booth, putting his drink in front of him. She saw his expression and blinked. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He said immediately, and picked up his drink. “So, um… I picked a song on the jukebox. Can you guess?”

She didn’t answer, still trying to figure out his sudden moment.

“It’s fine.” He said again, and took another quick sip.

Debra’s face changed as her eyes flicked, calculating something. Her gaze hopped from his face, to Patty’s retreating form at the bar, to the bartender beside her, subtly observing their booth with a dirty grin; then back to Ellis, who was fiddling with his wedding ring. He was twisting it absently on his finger, like he was trying to put it on harder. A nervous habit that she’d never observed in him before.

Debra’s smile vanished. The interested, engaged expression she’d had all night faded back into the mild disappointment she’d had every time they were about to fight, and Ellis felt his stomach sink. They’d been married for so long, she didn’t even need to ask.

Debra threw back her drink. One gulp, glass down. “You want to tell me now, or when we get home?” She demanded icily.

“I’ll… pay the bartender.” Ellis said, resigned. Honesty, right? Best defense is the truth. Right?

~/*\~

The question came before they got out of the parking lot.

The confession happened at the first stoplight.

The yelling lasted most of the way home, until he reminded her the kids were going to be in earshot soon.

The stony silence lasted until they pulled into the driveway.

~/*\~

“Hey.” Piper smiled as they came in. “Gigi’s asleep. How was-”

Her mother stormed past her, went upstairs, and slammed the bedroom door hard. Ellis followed, much slower.

Piper let out a breath, glancing at her father. “Bad?”

“Pretty bad, yeah.”

Piper rubbed her eyes. “Dad?” She said, and her voice was low. “Which side should I be on?”

He sighed. “Hers.” He admitted.

Piper rubbed her neck, as though this was an expected inconvenience she’d been trying to put off. “How bad is it? Because that’s the first thing Gigi’s gonna ask me at breakfast tomorrow.”

Ellis sucked a breath between his teeth. “I may not be here at breakfast tomorrow. I think your mom is packing a bag for me right now.”

Piper took that in. “I see.” It was the only thing she said, and her voice had changed. Ellis felt worse. His daughter knew. He could tell, she’d figured it out.

~/*\~

Ellis drove around for a while, before giving up and heading for the cheapest motel in the area. Once he’d decided on a destination, he suddenly found himself driving in the opposite direction.

A quick search found the address, even as recent as the change was. He parked out the front of a building he’d never been to. Eleanor and Del were in an apartment, but thankfully it was on the ground floor. He’d heard their voices through an open window as he walked up and knocked.

Del answered, opening the door as far as the chain. “Ellis?” He shut the door a moment and threw back the chain. “Come in. But softly, please. We just got the baby down.”

Del and Eleanor were both in robes, clearly ready to turn in for the night. “I’m sorry to just show up like this.” Ellis said, and he felt the quaver in his voice. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

Eleanor took him in. “Looks like you’re having quite a night.”

~/*\~

The three of them sat and spoke in low voices, to avoid waking the baby. Eleanor went to the kitchen as the story came to its natural conclusion. Ellis confessed everything. The kickbacks, the one night stand, the morning news pricking his conscience, the falling out with Darrel, and the breakup.

He sighed. “This was almost the best day of my year. Felt like I was one of the good guys at last. But I screwed it up months ago.”

“For the good that I wish I do not do, but the bad that I do not wish is what I practice.”

Ellis recognized the tone for a biblical quotation. “Yeah.” He admitted. “That’s what it is. My sins catching up with me. Y’know, after I went to that meeting with you, I started reading some of your JW stuff. The website, mainly. Little bits, here and there. You know what’s interesting? Even when… well-”

“Even when you weren’t that interested, you still looked up the things that you knew applied to you.” Del guessed. “Been there.”

Eleanor chose that moment to return with cups of tea. “I was going to make coffee, but it’s…” She searched for the right way to put it.

“It’s late enough, and I’m not likely to be sleeping well anyway.” Ellis agreed, sipping his tea. “I still don’t know why I came to you. I guess you’re a big part of what inspired me to start living an honest life. Given what you went through to take that ‘moral stand’ already, I-”

Eleanor stuck her tongue out and blew a big raspberry at him.

Ellis blinked, staring at her. “Excuse me?”

“You think Del has some grand arcane wisdom because he’s honest, and reads the Bible.” Eleanor challenged. “It’s not just about telling the truth to your wife. You aren’t being honest with yourself.”

“I didn’t hide anything about-”

“About what happened.” Eleanor nodded as she said it with him. “You were totally honest about how much you’d had to drink, about the fight you’d just had with your wife that night, about the state of your work environment, and the pressure you were under. All the reasons to minimize what you did, and justify why you should be forgiven.”

“Every word was true.” Ellis protested.

Eleanor blew another raspberry at him.

Ellis looked to Del for help. The other man shook his head. “Sorry, Ellis, but I’m with my wife on this one. Saying ‘I’m sorry I was loaded at the time’ might be true, but it's not an apology.”

“Buzzed or not, you telling me you didn’t know exactly what was going to happen when you left the bar with a woman you barely knew?” Eleanor challenged.

“I may have…” Ellis started to say something, swallowed the first thought, and tried again. “I… I was drinking, it wasn’t like I was making good choices-”

“No, go back.” Eleanor pushed. “What were you about to say before you changed your mind?”

Ellis hadn’t realized his expression was that easy to read. “When I got in her car… I took my wedding ring off.”

Eleanor nodded, still looking more sad for him than angry.

Long silence.

“You’re right: I don’t know why I’m confessing all this to you guys.” Ellis said finally.

“Who else is there?” Del commented. “But, for whatever reason, here we are. So, what now?”

“You got a place to sleep tonight?” Eleanor asked him.

“I’m going to head to a motel.” He nodded. “After that… I don’t know. Depends how long this goes until it blows over.”

Eleanor just looked at him. “You really think it’s going to be all better by the weekend?”

Ellis met her gaze. “Oddly enough, I hope not.” He admitted. “All our… arguments? We’ve handled them by making a short apology and putting it behind us. We never talk about it. By morning we usually pretend we didn’t fight at all. If we do the same with this, then…” He scrubbed his face hard with his hands. “Then it means she’s decided not to think about it. If she doesn’t throw me out for good, it means she’s decided we’re officially roommates with kids.” He almost laughed. “God, how did I screw up this badly?”

Eleanor and Del traded a look. “We don’t really have a guestroom anymore, but the couch is-”

“No.” Ellis shook his head. “You have a kid of your own. If I stay here, there’ll be questions. I’ve dumped enough of my problems on you already.” He stood. “Thanks for listening, but I should go.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Del nodded.

Eleanor caught his hand. “Ellis, as bad as it is, the sun will still rise in the morning. Maybe this can be fixed, maybe it can’t be. But as badly timed as it was, you were on the high of a year because you were putting your life back in order. You’re just at the start of this. Don’t forget that feeling.”

~/*\~

“Your wife thinks I’m going to slide back into my lying, cheatin’ ways.” Ellis said dryly.

“You’ve had a setback tonight, no question.” Del quipped. “Some people don’t react well to that.”

“Mm. I know we weren’t really good friends, even when we did work together. I’m sorry to unload all this on you and your wife in the middle of the night.” Ellis said as they went to his car. “I still don’t know why I came here, but-”

“I do.” Del put in. “I know the rest of your peer group. They used to be my peer group too, and I know for a fact that if you went to any of those guys around the water cooler, they’d all say the same thing.”

“They’d tell me I didn’t do anything wrong, and my only real mistake was letting her find out.” Ellis nodded. “This morning I decided I had to do my job better. And your wife was right: It’s not just being more honest going forward; I have to own my screwups.” He rubbed his eyes. “Let’s start here: Del, Darrel set you up. You lost your job because he wanted you gone. You were falsely accused. I know, because I was the one that had to sign off on the contracts he used to bounce you.”

“No kidding.” Del nodded, unsurprised.

“Yeah, I figured you must have worked that out by now.” Ellis sighed hard. “You never let on. You must have known it was me when I came by the renovation on your Hall.”

Del nodded.

“Del… You lost your job. You were more honest about it than anyone involved, and you were the one that lost. You lost your house, your… You did everything right, and you lost everything. And not only did you rise above it, you were glad to have fewer hours. You were an inch away from offering to let me stay here tonight, even after the part I played in you losing your job… That meeting I went to, when they talked about honesty? One talk about one verse actually saved me from getting arrested this morning. Del, I’m not exactly being a good friend here. And it’s not natural for you to be so nice about it.”

Del smiled a bit. “I didn’t ‘lose everything’, Ellis. The world has taken very little from me. Not compared to what I’ve gained the last few years.” He gave Ellis a hard look. “You’ve lost far more tonight than I ever have. I hope you can get it back.”

Ellis had three responses, and he wasn’t sure which one mattered most to him. ‘No chance’, warred with ‘I hope so too’, and ‘she won’t take it that far, I’m sure’.

He got into his car, and paused. “Del?” He said, voice low. “I really, genuinely, love my wife. I do. What happened didn’t change that at all. We’ve drifted apart over the years, but my feelings haven’t changed.”

“I believe you.” Del nodded. “But when you hurt someone, you don’t get to decide how hurt they should be. And you can’t make someone forgive you.”

“No, I guess not.”

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