Chapter Nine: In A Heartbeat

  

~/*\~ Eleanor ~/*\~

Martine had been waiting for her doctor to see her for two hours. The waiting room was packed full of other people. After the long wait, the results were more or less what she expected. She had thanked the doctors for their time, and made her way slowly towards the door, when she noticed Del pacing the waiting room outside the operating theater.

Mine was the last appointment of the day for my doctors. Martine thought. He's not here for a consultation. She wandered over. "Del?"

He jumped, startled out of his thoughts. "Oh, hello." He nodded to her, silent for a moment, searching for her name.

"Martine." She supplied.

"Yes, thank you. Sorry." Del sighed.

Martine was worried now. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm waiting to hear." Del sighed again, harder. "There's a potential problem with the baby."

Martine's face fell. "Ohno. What are they saying?"

"Something about how the baby isn't getting enough oxygen, and they might have to induce." He was still pacing. "She couldn't feel the baby move all day, so they wanted to keep her…" He let out a breath. "Monitoring is one thing, but they wanted to keep her under observation in the ICU. It sounds worse than what they're saying."

"The ICU means they can monitor closely, and get her help faster if she needs it." Martine said with forced optimism. "Believe me, the hardest part about hospital life is waiting for someone to see you. The ICU doesn't have that problem."

"Nice thought, but they don't put you in the ICU if they're optimistic that everything's fine." Del shot back. "And the one thing they don't let you have is a phone… or visitors."

Martine regarded him. "You got family coming?"

"Nobody local. Nobody…" He suddenly seemed to notice the question. "Oh. No, I've got nobody waiting for me. Why?"

"You shouldn't be alone while you wait." Martine said. "We don't know each other, really. But Eleanor is a friend, and I got nowhere to be tonight either."

Del scowled. He was inches away from his own panic attacks, and he didn't want to spend the worst night of his life with this woman who was already the cause of one argument with Eleanor.

That thought stopped him cold. "Ellie didn't like how you two left things. Or… that things were left at all, to be honest."

"She's my friend. What happened before doesn't matter right now." Martine said softly. "Look, I'm not going to worry about her any less if I'm alone in my apartment. If you really want me to leave, I will…"

Del suddenly lost the will to care. His emotions were all over the place. "Nah, you can stay. I just… won't be good company."

Martine nodded and sat down like she was planting herself there. "That's why you shouldn't be alone with yourself right now."

Del was about to answer, when the doors opened, and the surgeon came out, wearing scrubs. He scanned the room to find Del, and the two of them had a quick conversation by themselves. Martine watched, seeing Del's shoulders droop. The Doctor squeezed his shoulder, and spoke again. Del nodded back towards Martine, and the doctor went back through the doors, leaving them waiting again.

Del came back to collapse into a chair beside Martine. "The Doc agreed I should have someone with me for this. They're going to operate." He ground his jaw a bit. "Not a C-Section. Not yet. Apparently, there's something more going on."

Martine knew not to ask for details, but let out a breath between her teeth. "How did he sound?"

"A lot calmer than I am." Del admitted. "I forget sometimes that hospital surgeons do this every day." He rubbed his eyes. "I'm gonna go get some coffee. You want some?"

"Sure." Martine yawned. "It's gonna be a long night."

~/*\~

A few hours passed, and visiting hours ended. The waiting room was mostly empty already, and as everyone went home, it was just them left. Martine was in no hurry. Del couldn't bring himself to go home, even for a short time. Most of the lights were turned off as the night shift began.

Del paced the room when he got restless, stared at his phone the rest of the time, scanning social media feeds that he barely registered. Martine pulled her tablet out of her bag, and brought up her Bible, reading quietly. Del rolled his eyes, and she smiled impishly. "Still more up to date than most hospital magazines."

Del let it go. He paced, brooded, and then looked over her shoulder at her reading. "You think if Eleanor had become a Witness six months ago, she'd be safe right now?" Del challenged her.

Martine winced. "Being a JW brings all sorts of blessings. Immunity from poor health isn't one of them. It's Life." Martine said simply. "This is reality. Bad things happen."

"Then what is the point of being a believer?" Del asked, sounding exhausted. "If your whole religion is based on 'one day in paradise' or 'beware of Armageddon', how is that any different than other churches with 'heaven or hell'? Every religion out there has the same duality. Is He a vengeful God, or a forgiving one? Because if the answer is: 'Depends how obedient you are', then you've got a problem." All this was said with tired resignation. He wasn't picking a fight, he was pleading. "I don't believe. You do. Ellie, I honestly couldn't tell you. The baby doesn't have a choice yet. And here we all are. So what's the point of worshiping?"

"Well, setting aside the question of which belief is actually true or not…" Martine drawled. "The difference is why we worship. In the story of Job, Satan himself charged that people only serve God for what they get in return."

Del rubbed his eyes, more reflective than anything else. "The story of Job is kind of universal, isn't it? Are we still good people when times are hard?"

"I find it a comforting thought, that the most defining moment of Job's life is when he was broke, sick, and everyone around him was telling him to give up and pray for death." Martine said quietly. "I've been a believer my entire adult life, and I'll admit it's getting harder as we go." She ran a hand through her greying hair. "Life is like that sometimes."

Del stood up and paced for a while, more for something to do than any restlessness. "I understand why God wouldn't answer people who pray for winning lottery tickets and stuff, but… What did the baby ever do? For that matter, what do any of them do? This hospital is full of people praying for survival. How many of them will be spared, or not?"

"There you go again. I just told you-"

"That God doesn't cause car wrecks for some grand plan, sure. Ellie told me the same." Del nodded. "But He doesn't stop it either. If a lifeguard stands by and refuses to help a drowning child, it's a crime. If God stands back, it's an act of love?"

"There's a gap between 'why there is suffering in the world' and 'why there is suffering in my family'." Martine admitted. "But somehow, it doesn't seem like the time."

"Mm." Del sat down again, suddenly sick of pacing. "I had this talk with Elle months ago. I… I got angry with her. Can you believe that? Mother of my child, laying on a table right now, and I yelled at her when she tried to tell me something spiritual. Who the hell did she marry?"

"Somehow, I don't think the two are connected." Martine quipped darkly. "But if you're too numb to scream and rage about deep philosophical issues right now, I don't blame you."

That was the end of the conversation for a while. Neither of them had too much energy to spend on deep conversation; but Del was desperate for distraction. Discussing religion as an abstract was as good as any other topic, and it was the only one they had spoken on before, other than Eleanor. Neither of them wanted to talk about her too long.

"I appreciate you staying." Del offered, mostly because the silence was driving him insane. "When Eleanor stopped studying with you, she was afraid she'd lost a friend."

"She was so cynical when I first met her, especially about this." She tapped her screen. "Skeptical, analytical, reserved… She was a lot like you, as a matter of fact."

"You don't know me."

"No, but Eleanor does. When you started expressing your displeasure at her studies, she told me all about you." Martine explained, regarding him. "She loves you utterly, Del."

Del felt it like a physical blow. "Feeling's mutual."

"Eleanor went at our lessons like she was trying to catch me out at something. When she realized she was expecting, she called our study to a halt." Martine sighed. "Didn't want her kids raised in a home with any kind of division."

"I've met her parents. Trust me, you have no idea how much that messed her up as a child." Del agreed. "We fell in love and married without one serious argument about anything, until you."

Martine winced. "I never meant to cause any kind of rift between you, Del."

"I know." Del agreed. "But I think Eleanor's greatest fear is that our baby will go through the same thing she did when her parents fought. No fear of God or Judgment can scare her like that."

"What about you?" Martine challenged.

Del sighed. "I wish I could have made it all go away. What's going on in the world scares the daylights out of me, Martine. I should have cut off both my arms to make sure none of it reached my family."

Martine tapped at her tablet automatically, and Del could see the pages of scripture scrolling past on the screen… before Martine suddenly changed her mind and put it away. "You know what? This isn't really the time to have this conversation."

"I have no problem with having this conversation." Del drawled, sinking deeper into his chair. "Or we could talk about sports, or movies, or anything you want, as long as it's not…" He gestured in the general direction of the operating room. "I had the boss over for lunch this afternoon. He was feeling me out about a possible promotion. I really wanted to impress him." He let out a breath between his teeth. "He didn't want to know if I was going to work hard. He wanted to know if I'd cook the books. Eleanor wouldn't 'play along'."

Martine scoffed. "Did you think she would?"

"No. And I would have been proud of her for it." Del rubbed his eyes. "But I suddenly have to start a college fund for someone, and…" He looked up at the ceiling, rolling his head back. "I was angry at her. For messing up my 'chance to impress'. And that was this afternoon. I wonder, if I'd been studying with you, would I have been less willing to 'play along', knowing that God is watching?"

"Is fear of punishment the only reason to do the right thing?" Martine asked. "And before you answer, please remember that you have a kid to impress now."

"I hope I do." Del agreed thickly. "But Witnesses don't get to say we shouldn't fear the wrath of God. Have you seen your literature? Every article I've read ends with a warning about Judgment Day."

"When I was a kid, stories about the end of the world were reasonably common." Martine offered. "They weren't popular, but it was the middle of the Cold War, and every schoolkid was taught 'duck and cover'..." She let out a breath. "That was before I became a Believer. You'd think it would have stopped after the Cold War ended, but…" She shook her head. "There are so many movies, books, shows… All about the end of everything."

"Including yours." Del countered. "I've seen pictures in your books. Fire raining on cities, while the faithful are saved."

"We aren't Doomsdayers, Del." Martine countered. "Yes, we think the end of 'the system' is coming. So does practically everyone else, warning that things can't last if things continue as they are. Climate change, economics, politics, nuclear proliferation… Everyone who looks at the future can see that things can't keep going as they are for too much longer. But there are far fewer groups promising that Paradise will follow. If you think we're peddling 'fear', then you aren't reading far enough along."

Del was silent for a long moment with that. "Y'know, when I was a kid, my mother told me that I had to be good, because there was a wonderful, magical man watching over me, taking note of all the right and wrong I did in my life; even if I couldn't see him." He said quietly. "She told me this man was kind, and generous, and wasn't limited by all the human problems like time, and distance. She told me that he would reward me for my good works, so I should behave myself."

Martine almost smiled. "Let me guess."

"Santa Claus." Del nodded solemnly. "And the thing is, at six years old, I believed her. After all, my parents wouldn't lie to me, would they?"

"You think God is just Santa Claus for adults?"

"Took me a long while to figure out the difference." Del nodded. "The difference was that my parents never believed the stories they told me about Santa, but they did believe in God." He set his jaw. "They believed it when times were good, and we had a large house, a whole family, and a two car garage… They believed it when life took a turn and we lost most of those things."

"What happened?" Martine asked gently.

"Nothing that didn't happen to a lot of people." Del excused. "The Financial Crash buried a lot of dreams."

Martine hummed in agreement.

"My folks were evangelicals." Del kept going. "Their church followed the idea that the more you give to God, the more rewarded you are."

"Ah." Martine nodded in understanding. "And when you say 'give to God'..."

"Yeah. It was the end of the family." Del sighed. "Mom believed just a little bit harder than Dad, I guess; because when we lost the house, and all crammed into a one bedroom apartment, she never lost hope. 'Just until things turn around', she said. And she knew just how to turn things around, because after all, why would the holy man lie?"

Martine winced.

"When dad found out our last bit of savings had all gone to Televangelists, he walked out on her, and took us with him. Their divorce wasn't quite as gleeful a bloodsport as the one my in-laws went through, but it was tough enough. Then dad's health meant he needed a bypass we couldn't afford, and with him in a hospital, we could barely make the rent…" Del wiped furiously at his face. "And mom told her kids it was all his own fault, for…" He trailed off, sick to his stomach.

"For not having enough faith that Santa Claus would bring all the presents you needed to live?" Martine guessed, squeezing his shoulder. "Prosperity isn't a sign of God's blessing. Though, I suppose, enough people think that way. There are whole religions that use Prosperity as a doctrine." Martine acknowledged. "In scripture, the giants of my faith were wealthy kings, and penniless fishermen alike. Half the Bible was written from a prison cell. But none of them ever went hungry. Not even once."

Del sank his face into his hands, broken. "When they told me she needed emergency surgery, my first thought, God help me, was maybe I was being punished. It's what my mom would have said."

Martine blinked. "Punished? What for?"

"I've had to do some things I'm not proud of, to keep my job." Del admitted. "And if your faith is anything like my mom's…" He finally looked up at her. "Why isn't it enough to live a good life, help out where you can, trying to make your good outweigh your bad? Why is that not enough for a good God?"

"If you want to know the best way to use something, you'd read the instructions. Our lives come from God. Why wouldn't He know best about how to live? A religion is just what we call it when a bunch of people who agree on a certain way get organized."

"Right, but why do we pretend people don't know right from wrong on their own? Why does it all have to be 'in the name of the lord'? Can't we figure out our own way?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because we suck at it." Martine said plainly. "Have you seen the world?"

"Granted, but…" Del sighed. "A thousand certain religions out there, thousands more that have ceased to exist…"

"And if you pick the wrong one, doesn't God just get madder and madder?" Martine quipped. "I've heard that before."

"So what is it? What's the 'X' factor?" Del scowled. "I go to mom's church, and I get told my problems are my fault. I go to yours, I get told they're not. What makes you right, and mom wrong? What difference does it make if my wife's on the table either way?"

"Well, I'm half asleep right now, but..." Martine yawned. "I figure any philosophy has to do three things. It has to give you hope, has to give you direction on how best to live, and it has to give you answers. 'Live right and do good' is how to live. What about the other things?"

Del frowned, trying to think.

"Living right and making your good outweigh your bad? Decent enough way to live. But does it give you hope?" Martine pressed. "Does it explain where we all came from, or what happens when we die?"

Del was suddenly sick of talking about it, and he stood up swiftly. "I should call Ellie's mom. Let her know what's happening."

~/*\~

Del had made a few phone calls. There was no word from the surgeons yet. He came back into the waiting room, and saw Martine was still there. Her head was bowed, and her eyes were closed; her lips moving silently. Del didn't intrude, sitting opposite her.

When Martine was done praying, she lifted her head, and Del spoke. "Does that ever make a difference to anything?"

"It does to me. Prayer isn't like 'ordering off a menu', it's about pouring out your burdens. Stress, fear, panic."

Del let it go, not really interested in arguing that point. "Prayer never made logical sense to me." Del admitted. "I mean, I get that God can hear you. That's the point of being all-knowing. But if He knows what I'm saying, then surely He knows what I'm praying about." He shrugged. "Why do I need to get my knees dusty to tell Him something He already knows? Does He just like to hear us beg?"

"Do you have a best friend?" Martine challenged. "You know what's going on in his life? Doesn't it feel better when he wants to talk about it with you anyway? Share the burden? God's got big shoulders, Del. He'd rather your rage than your silence. Better than letting you carry it all alone." She yawned. "Besides, who says prayer is begging? We're only ever one thought away from being thankful for what we've got. Do you ever thank God when things are going well?"

Del took that in. "I will admit, I've never thanked God for anything in prayer." He bit his lip. "I've spent my whole life being mad at God. Doesn't seem right to pray now, no matter how much I want him to spare my wife."

"And there it is." Martine sighed. "Why 'spare' her? Is God really so eager to 'take' people, in your mind?"

Del couldn't answer.

"When I was younger than you, I was an atheist." Martine admitted. "You don't know desperation until you see the atheists praying all night."

"I am almost exactly that desperate." Del admitted, looking ancient. "If I prayed now, asking for… Would he hear me?"

"Why not?"

"I just wonder if it's hypocritical."

Martine was about to answer, when the doors opened, and the Surgeon came out. Del almost lurched to his feet. So did Martine, though she stayed well back and let them talk. They spoke softly for several moments, and Del sagged on his feet. With his back to her, Martine couldn't tell if it was good news or bad, but the doctor squeezed his shoulder and went back through the doors.

Del turned back to Martine, and came over to give her the news. "They're okay." He said weakly, exhausted. "Ellie's okay, and I have a son."

Martine laughed and wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Congratulations, Del."

Del pulled back, and tears were rolling down his face. "Martine." He croaked. "What you said before, about how we should give thanks, as well as ask for help?" He spread his shaking hands wide. "I still don't think it's appropriate, given that I've never prayed before, but if you would, say thank you for me, too."

Martine nodded. "I will." She had tears of her own. "Long night."

"Long night." Del agreed, and turned to go, before turning back to her. "They say she'll be in the wards in half an hour or so. The baby's making a stop in the natal ward, given that he's still a couple of weeks early. You want to hang around and see them? I know it's late, but… Ellie would probably like to see you."

~/*\~

It was indeed late at night when Eleanor came around. Her eyes seemed to roll in opposite directions for a second, before she blinked sleepily, and saw Del beside her. "Hey." She yawned. "D'd I f'll asleep?"

Del smiled warmly at her. "Hey, you." He murmured.

Automatically, Eleanor slid a hand down to her stomach and hissed in pain when she hit bandages. "What?" She looked down at herself, suddenly wide awake. "Oh no!"

Del shushed her. "Easy. You'll wake the baby." He whispered, guiding her gaze over to the crib, in the room beside her bed. Eleanor relaxed instantly, trying to reach for him. Del pushed her back gently, shushing her. He collected the baby, moving so slowly, like he was afraid to let his son feel motion at all.

Eleanor's gaze was so fixed on them, that she almost missed Martine, asleep in a chair across from her. "Martine?"

Martine came awake and sat up, seeing her awake. "Hey." She smiled as Del sat on the edge of the bed, scooping his wife and child together in his arms. "He's beautiful."

Eleanor looked down at him, tearing up. "He's perfect."

Martine let them have a few minutes with each other before she spoke again. "So, have you guys given any thought to names?"

"We were deadlocked between Benjamin and Jacen." Del admitted. "Apparently both our fathers had claimed 'naming rights' even before we met."

Eleanor giggled. "I guess we can't put that off anymore."

Del grinned. "Make Ben his middle name, but I reserve the right to call him by it. My mother certainly will."

"Jacen. Little Jace." Eleanor beamed. "J.B. Chester. Sounds like something you call a billionaire, or a newspaper mogul."

Martine scoffed. "To think, I met him before he took over the world."

Eleanor suddenly seemed to realize Martine was really there. "Not that it isn't great to see you, but… How are you here? Del wouldn't have called you to the hospital, surely?"

"She was in the Ward when you were…" Del blinked, and suddenly realized he hadn't asked, so consumed with his wife's emergency. "Come to think of it... Why were you here, Martine?"

Martine winced. "I had an appointment of my own. The waiting room kept me here a good bit longer than planned, and I just ran into Del on my way out."

"You're okay, though?" Eleanor said quickly.

Martine gave her a pained look, trying to hide it behind a smile.

Eleanor started to bawl again.

"Hey. Don't start saying your goodbyes just yet. This is a good day for you." Martine squeezed her hand. "I'm not afraid, Eleanor." She said sincerely. "You shouldn't be either."

Del was staring at Martine, and he looked like he'd seen a ghost.

~/*\~

Eleanor rested, halfway between exhaustion and sedation. Even asleep, she was smiling. Martine had been holding her hand for almost ten straight minutes, beaming at her, before she made her quiet goodbyes.

For reasons he couldn't really explain, Del walked her out, the two of them making their way to the elevators. The hour was late, and the halls were empty.

"What are the doctors telling you?" He asked finally.

"That my prognosis is not necessarily… bad. But there's nothing my insurance can do." Martine sighed. "There are other clinics that can help; but they're international. I'm going to have to find one. It may be the last trip I take for a while." She shook her head a bit. "I'd never heard of this illness until they told me I had it."

Del winced. "I'd never heard of…" He waved a hand back towards his wife. "Funny how you never learn things until they affect you in some way."

Martine laughed. "Didn't I make that point to you sometime in the last few hours?"

"I suppose so." Del agreed. "But I'm ashamed to admit I didn't even think to ask. Even with what was going on in my day, it still should have occurred to me."

"Please, I was glad to get out of my head and worry about a friend for a while. A friend I haven't seen in months." It was only just barely a dig at him, and he couldn't bring himself to call her on it, for all the other things that had happened that day. "You gotta take your good moments when they come. Keeps you level for the hard times. 'For I consider that the sufferings of the present time do not amount to anything in comparison with the glory that is going to be revealed in us'."

"Quotation?"

"Romans 8:18." Martine nodded. "A personal favorite for me at the best of times, let alone the worst."

Del had a helpless look on his face, and Martine smirked. "Harder to argue with, now that you know it's what I'm hanging my hopes on too."

"More than just you. In a way, all of us are hanging our hopes on something beyond our own lives and lifespan, even if we say otherwise." Del offered. "We're in a hospital. How many people in this building are making their 'last trip' anywhere?" He was silent for a moment. "Can I ask one more question? And you should know, this one is going to sting, given your situation; but it might just be the first thing I've said all night where I really want to hear the answer."

Martine actually squared her shoulders. "Fire."

"If aging and death aren't a sickness to be cured, but a punishment inflicted on our original ancestors… How is that not cruelty? To give everyone alive a terminal disease for a hundred generations?"

"Isaiah 42:5." Martine brought up her phone and turned to the scripture. "The Creator of the heavens and the Grand One who stretched them out, The One who spread out the earth and its produce, The One who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk on it."

Del read it twice. "Okay?"

"God is the Life Source. Every living thing in heaven and earth gets that life from the same place. What happens when you try to turn on a TV that isn't plugged in? What happens when you turn the power off? You think of him as the source of death. In reality, it's the opposite."

"So since he's the power source for life, he's allowed to take it away?"

"Being the maker of the universe gives Him authority over it, yes. But that's not what I meant." Martine reasoned. "Scripture says there is suffering in the world because our original ancestors decided to refuse His leadership. And yet, to this day, God continues to give us lifetimes, despite the fact that the world as a whole uses them in direct opposition to how we were meant to live. There's no reason why He's obligated to continue as our Life Source at all. Try to make a soul on your own. I'm betting you won't succeed."

"You're saying we're mortal because we violated our designers 'terms of service'."

"And yet God continues to give life. We use it to hurt each other, and ourselves… and then He provided His firstborn, purely so that He could wipe all those sins away, and we can live forever if we acknowledge Him as the one who gives it to us. And all He asks is that we do what we can to follow the directions we were made to." She waved a hand. "You can talk about God like he's a dictator wanting us to 'beg for our loved ones to be spared' but He's the one offering the olive branches here." She smirked. "To say nothing of the fact that resurrection of the dead to eternal life in paradise is the whole cornerstone of the Witnesses faith. Neither man or God are inflicting anything on the world that can't be undone and made a million times better."

Del swallowed his first response.

"Say what you want to say." She directed him politely.

"I just…" Del shook his head. "How do you tell a sincere, respectful person, in a sincere, respectful way, that you think their beliefs are a fairy tale?"

They had reached the elevators, but Martine was in no hurry. "You're a father now. Are you going to tell him the story of Red Riding Hood and her grandmother, eaten by the wolf? Or the tale of Humpty Dumpty, who couldn't be fixed by all the king's men?" She smirked. "Why do we tell our children fairy tales, do you think?"

Del scoffed. "I don't know. Maybe because we need such tales to learn the lessons? 'Be good, and stay on the path when walking through the woods?' Maybe they're just an escape. 'Yes, the wicked witch is winning, but the dragon will be slain one day, and you'll be the fairest in the land'. Eventually, I figured the Bible was the same thing. Morality tales with happy endings."

"So what?" Martine challenged. "Why do people not tell stories about the world as it is? Why do people tell each other fantastical stories?"

"It's no secret the world is terrible, Martine." Del shrugged. "We tell stories because people deserve better than the real world."

Martine smiled like he'd said something very profound. "It's because we were meant for better than this world." She told him seriously. "Look, for the sake of argument, let's say that the Bible is all true. If it is, then humans were designed to live in Eden, where nobody would ever fight, where nobody would ever get sick, or old, or ever die. A world where lies didn't exist, and violence wasn't even a concept."

"It's a nice thought-"

"Evolution teaches survival of the fittest. Humans are a fragile species. We aren't made to fight, we're made to nurture. Tell me you didn't feel that ten minutes ago, when you were with your family, hugging it out on that hospital bed?" Martine said seriously. "And the world is so crazy now that it seems like there's nothing but bad left. But on some level, deep down in our DNA, there's still a part of us that the world can't reach. The part of us that knows what 'fair' is, even when we can't see fairness anywhere. The part of us that can imagine and plan for eternity, even when we don't want to keep living. The part that craves peace, even when chaos is all we've known."

Del bit his lip. "Interesting angle."

Martine pulled out her phone again. "I've shown this verse to people a thousand times. 'We know we originate with God, but the whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one'."

"Ellie showed me that a few times." Del admitted. "It's how you explain evil in the world."

"Yeah, but the first half is important too. We originate with God. And He wanted us to live forever in Paradise. Even six thousand years later, the most diehard atheist still wants a beautiful, healthy world, and an eternal, fulfilling life, where nobody ever gets hurt, or gets sick. Life eternal for you and your family? That's the 'grand design according to God.' And in the six thousand years since we lost that, we haven't lost our need for it. We weren't really made to live any other way."

Del had no answer to that, but he lifted a hand to his face and felt tears he hadn't realized he was shedding.

Martine took pity on him, and hit the button for the elevator. "You've had your head, and your heart spun around hard tonight." She said gently. "Maybe it changes your perspective forever, maybe you just need a night's sleep. But I will say that people can be presented with new information that alters their deeply held beliefs. It happens all the time. It's a fancy way of saying 'I learned something that changed my mind'. If you can't, then your problem isn't with God. In fact, I don't think it was ever with God."

"What do you mean?"

"You and Jehovah God have never met, never spoken. When you think of 'holy', you think of your mom handing money over to televangelists, and your family living out of a car." Martine challenged.

Del looked unconvinced, but he nodded. "You know something?" He said finally. "You got some bad news today, and you didn't even hint at it. Not once, during the entire time we were waiting for Eleanor's operation to be over. You stayed and took it on the chin while I talked trash about your convictions, your beliefs, your religion, and your… Well, your hopes." He shook his head. "Whatever else, I owe you an apology, but I think I have more respect for your beliefs because of that, than I would from anything written in your books."

The elevator dinged. Martine gave him a watery smile, and hugged him tightly. "Congratulations, Del. I'm happy everything worked out tonight. Give your son a hug for me."

And despite himself, he hugged her back tightly. "Good luck with your thing. And… Look us up when you get back?"

Martine was surprised. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Del nodded. "Ellie would want you to."

~/*\~

Eleanor was barely awake when Del came back into her room. "You and Martine, in a hospital waiting room, for four hours. I would have paid money to be a fly on that wall."

Del chuckled to himself, and kissed her forehead sweetly. "How you feeling?"

"I am on many painkillers." Eleanor drawled happily, eyes glued to the baby. "Look what we did."

Del slid in beside her, arms going around her. He hadn't realized just how perfectly his wife fit under his chin. Jacen was still asleep in his crib, but Del could almost feel the baby's place, nestled between them.

They just fit together so perfectly, all three of them. "This may not mean anything." He murmured emotionally. "But Martine was right. We were made to nurture."

"Mmm." The sound of agreement sighed out of Eleanor slowly, and she shut her eyes, already falling asleep. Del eased her back against the bed and tucked her in warmly.

Del wandered over to the cot, and gazed down at his son. Martine's voice floated through his memory. 'And yet God continues to give us life. We use it to hurt each other, and ourselves… and then He provided His firstborn, purely so that He could wipe all those sins away.'

My firstborn. Del thought, looking at the baby in awe. I've known you for ten minutes, and I wouldn't trade you for anything or anyone. Not even for the whole world.

Just then, his phone rang. He scrambled to answer it before it woke Eleanor or the baby. "Hello?"

"Del, it's me. Apologies for the lateness of the hour." His boss responded. "Listen, there's no easy way to say this, but after very careful thought, I've decided to give the promotion to Ioan."

Del blinked slowly, not comprehending that. Understanding hit him a moment later. My god, was that really ten hours ago? "Oh. Right." He said automatically. "I understand."

Darrel heard the flat tone and tried to soften the blow. "Del, let me assure you; your wife's comments had nothing to do with my decision. Your work has been more than satisfactory in the entire time you've worked for me."

Del gave an almost hysterical little laugh, as the emotions all seemed to hit him at once. "Boss, don't worry about it. But just so you know, I won't be in tomorrow morning."

"Del, there's no reason to quit your job. This is-"

"Nono, I mean-" Del gave himself a quick mental slap. "I'm at the hospital. After you left this afternoon, there was a problem with the baby."

"My God, Del-"

"No, they're okay. Ellie's fine. The baby's fine." Del said quickly. "But I've been at the hospital most of the day, and my kid's here a few weeks early. I've got some things to take care of."

He heard Darrel let out a breath. "That's a relief. Well, uh… Congratulations. I'm glad it worked out. I won't keep you. See you Monday?"

"I'll be there." Del made his goodbyes and put the phone away, looking down at little Jacen. "So." He heard himself say. "Your mom has had you all to herself for months now. We should get to know each other." He smiled a bit. "I'm dad." He smothered his reaction. "I've never been 'dad' before, so this is a really big day for me."

Del took a moment to get used to those words, and looked over at Eleanor. She was sleeping, looking totally at peace.

"Well." He murmured to the baby. "Let's see. You'll need someone to put a roof over your head, and make sure you and mom are safe and fed. That's my job. Money will be a little tighter than I thought, but that's true of almost everyone these days."

The baby yawned, wriggling a bit. It was the single most perfect thing Del had ever seen.

"And, you'll need someone to teach you how to walk, and how to talk. How to catch a baseball, or drive a car, or shave. All that stuff is my job too. Your mom will insist on teaching you other stuff. And it's clear she'll have to be the one to discipline you, because I won't be able to stop myself from spoiling you rotten; that much I know for a fact." Del couldn't help the smile.

The baby's eyes opened. Blue, curious eyes, seeing everything for the first time. Seeing his father for the first time.

"And you'll need someone to teach you right from wrong, and smart from stupid." Del agreed softly. "You're young enough that you won't remember this, but I want to caution you, most of us don't know how the world works, or why." He choked back the feeling. "Your mom and I had a small fight about that this afternoon." He crooned to the baby. "The minute it looked like I might not get to meet you, the fight was over. The minute you were born, I honestly forgot what today's lunch was about."

Del looked back at Eleanor, still looking radiant, but… smaller somehow. Weakened. The hospital room had that effect on everyone. Del felt the love he had for his wife ache in his chest.

Bad things can happen any time. He thought. I could lose them, lose her, lose my job, lose…

The thought made his stomach roil.

Dear God. Is that right? Is that how to start? He thought with uncertainty. Martine was right. You don't know desperation until you suddenly wish you knew how to pray. The urgency is gone, but I just realized I'll never stop wanting your help with this one. I'll never stop feeling this… need for everything to be alright. I want to be a good father. I want to keep my family safe. I want to keep all the bad in the world away from these two people. And I know I'll fail. I was very nearly part of the bad. And if this had happened tomorrow, I would be fighting with my wife right now, over what happened at lunch. Over who said what, and how many points it cost me with the boss.

The thought made his knees weak. I could have been annoyed at my Ellie right now, about losing the promotion. And why? Because I was willing to ignore my conscience, and she's not. And I would be angry at her.

"And for what?" He murmured aloud to his wife and son. "A few more hours away from you each week, a little more money? That can't be worth… doing something bad, can it? Climbing the greasy pole?"

Little Jacen started to cry. Eleanor woke up automatically. "Lemme hold'em." She murmured before her eyes were properly open, and Del immediately picked the baby up, carefully carrying him over. Eleanor cradled her fussing son close, and looked up at Del. "You should see your face." She smiled.

"I can imagine." Del admitted. What does the future hold for our son, my beloved wife? It was less than half a day ago we were making lunch for a virtual stranger, bickering over my job. I never thought we'd be here a day later. What's going to happen to us tomorrow? To the baby?

~/*\~

He didn't want to leave them, but Eleanor had some recovering to do, and there were still preparations to be made at home, with the baby arriving early.

Del went home and fixed up the nursery a bit, on autopilot; his thoughts still back at the hospital. He put together an overnight bag for Eleanor, collecting some clothes, toiletries, her tablet-

In the drawer where she kept her tablet, he found a notepad. The top of the first page had the words: "What Does The Future Hold?"

Del stared at the pad for about ten minutes before he noticed he wasn't moving. He would never intrude on his wife's privacy, or go through her things. But the notepad was open, right in front of him, and it seemed to be answering his thoughts directly.

In his wife's handwriting was the main point: 'Martine said to compare Bible passages forensically. These words were written thousands of years ago. If a few of them can match up to today, then they can be considered accurate predictions.'

What followed were several pages of notes. Bible verses, notes on what they could mean, comparisons to the daily news.

On the third page was a circled Bible verse. "You well know with all your heart and with all your soul that not one word out of all the good promises that Jehovah your God has spoken to you has failed. They have all come true for you. Not one word of them has failed."

It was the strangest feeling. Del remembered that he was angry about this sort of thing going on in his house. Except he couldn't feel it right now. She had clearly not stopped her studies, even if she hadn't met with anyone. This was all either from Martine, before Del had forced her to choose, or it was all from his wife, and he knew he could never be angry at her again. Not after the night he'd had.

Is it possible that I had a religious conversion, just by meeting my son?

~/*\~ Nomi ~/*\~

"He's my son." The Chieftain said softly.

"He's my husband." Nomi countered, just as heartfelt.

The Chieftain nodded, resting one hand on her shoulder reassuringly. Kainan's hunting party was now four hours overdue. Kainan's preferred team was made up entirely of Godsons, who could do whatever pleased or amused them; but even so, it was out of character for them to be so late coming back.

"He'll be back soon." Nomi promised, as much for herself as for him. "May I ask you a question, my lord?"

The Chieftain nodded.

"Why did Kainan not take a second wife?" Nomi asked, hiding that she was terrified of his answer. "There's been no child. His brothers have two or three wives each. If I can't…" She winced just saying this. "...give him an heir…" She bit her lip. "Kainan is worried that his brothers will seek to take his birthright as firstborn, and if-"

The huge man shushed her. "When the world began, there was one family. Cain was exiled, and there were several. Each of my sons want authority, and if they don't get it soon, then they'll take their wives and go form their own cities and towns." He shrugged "Let them. The world is wide enough. The sons of Cain are spreading out too. Sooner or later, it'll happen between my grandchildren as well." He smirked at her. "I advised my son to take only one wife. The fewer people claiming to 'deserve' his City as their own, the better. It's about lines of authority. I have four sons, all of whom want what I have. By the time Kainan takes over from me, the other three will have struck out on their own, or killed each other."

Nomi was about to answer, when a horn blew outside, and she spun to the door. "They're back?" She was moving automatically.

The Chieftain's Lodge was designed to give everyone on the upper level a clear view of the whole settlement. Nomi looked out to see the hunters return, with Kainan leading them. Some of the animals they hunted were bigger than them, willing to fight back when hunted or cornered. Injuries among the hunters weren't unusual.

This was something different. It was clear there had been no easy victory. Of the ten men who had gone out, only eight remained. The heavy staff they slung their prizes on carried something new. He was so big it took Nomi a moment to realize it was a man, and not one of their own.

The Chieftain, standing beside her on the balcony saw it too, and they both hurried downstairs.

~/*\~

"What happened!?" The Chief yelled at Kainan. Nomi, unable to keep up with his long stride, arrived a few moments later, and noticed Kainan was limping.

"We were attacked." Kainan grunted, waving at the huge prisoner. "He had others with him. We stumbled on them by accident, but they struck first."

The unusual circumstances were getting some attention. Almost everyone in the town had turned out to see the spectacle. Nomi found herself staring at the man's clothing. It was nothing like the weavings and leathers they wore in their town. This man was from somewhere else entirely.

The Chief could see his people reacting, and moved quickly. "Get him inside! Keep him under guard, and strip that armor off him!"

Armor. I don't know that word. Nomi had moved to her husband, brushing his torn clothing away from a gash in his side. "It's not bad." She promised. "I'll clean it up myself." And that way I can hear all about this.

~/*\~

The prisoner was kept in a locked room. The walls were made of thick lumber, and the door barricaded, but Nomi wondered if it would be enough, if the warrior wanted to make trouble.

"The Prisoner's injuries are… severe." Their Healer said quietly. "He may not survive the night."

The Chieftain nodded. "Alert us if he wakes up." He turned to one of his younger sons. "When he does, find out where he came from."

"I can probably guess." Kainan growled, low and angry.

The Chieftain led them out of that room and to the Main Hall. Nomi quietly kept pace with them, waiting for Kainan to sit before she started tending to his injury. If her husband even noticed her touch, or the wound, it didn't show.

"We came across them to the east. We were scaling trees to search for prey, when we found the trees were occupied. Three men. They had bows, and when they knew we had seen them, they attacked us. That one is their leader. He jumped down from the tree, and came up swinging. He dropped thirty feet, and it was nothing to him."

Nomi shivered. Their Prisoner was easily a head taller than Kainan, and that just didn't seem possible.

Kainan continued his story. "Jadhur threw his spear at the second while he was climbing down. That was just pure luck. The spear put him off balance, and he fell, head-first. The third escaped."

"Escaped?" The Chief sat up sharply on his throne. "One man escaped ten hunters?"

"Four of us, actually. I told you, we were spread out, searching for game." Kainan excused. "And the armor meant it took three of us to find a vulnerable spot."

As if on cue, the attendants brought the armor, stripped from their prisoner, and presented it to the Chief. Nomi let out a breath, half in awe, half in fear. The armor was in sections, and she could see how they fit together around limbs, lashed together by leathers. The gauntlets were designed for limbs much bigger than hers. She reached out to pick up the helmet, and could barely lift it. "What is it?"

"Metal." The Chieftain said with grim understanding. "They came from the City of Enoch."

Nomi shook her head absently. She'd seen the metal tools. The farmers used copper tools now, but this was something very different. Heavier. Harder. Alongside the armor was a blade. It was easily the length of Nomi's outstretched arm. She didn't even try to pick it up. The gleaming black metal was stained with blood.

Kainan picked it up, and gave it a practice swing. The air seemed to sing with it for a moment. "One swing and he cut Jadhur in half." He reported. "Never seen anything like it before."

"I have." His father said tightly. "It's called a 'sword'. The Angels that stood guard at the gates of Eden have something this shape, made of burning fire. Apparently, someone over there was… inspired."

"I saw the flaming blade too, father. The shape isn't what I mean." Kainan set the sword down carefully. "We had blades made of copper. They gave us some as part of the trade, remember? We thought it was a demonstration of good intentions towards us. It wasn't. They gave us Copper because they had something better. I hit him with the stone axe, and it broke on his helmet. I struck at him with my Copper blade, and this sword broke it in half on impact." He pulled out his copper dagger, the blade broken off an inch above the grip.

"Iron." His father said flatly. "It's called 'iron'. The City of Enoch apparently has more than just a copper mine." He looked at his son. "We don't. The only Iron Ore in the region is on the far side of the City of Enoch."

"How do you know that?" Nomi couldn't help but ask.

The Chieftain gave her the ghost of a smile. "I wasn't always here in this town, Nomi."

"Father, they've got the advantage in weapons, and they had people watching our community from concealed positions. This was just the first one we found, but there could be a dozen more spies in the area." Kainan was getting wound up, fury building at the loss of his men. "We need to hit back!"

The Chieftain shook his head. "They have the advantage, if they're sniffing around. You said one of their scouts got away. Defense is more important than-"

"That's why we have to attack, right now!" Kainan raged. "Ride out and meet them! Better yet, hit their City before they hit ours!" His blood was up, his temper flared. His battle-fury had not lessened a bit since getting back. Kainan was still 'in combat'.

"Meet them with what?" The Chieftain scorned. "We've got three Hunting parties. One of which could barely handle their scout team! You've never even seen their City, and you said yourself, their weapons are-"

A horn blew outside. Three quick blasts. Another horn did the same, from the opposite direction.

Nomi felt her heart start to race. "They're already here!"

~/*\~

There were few defensive options. The fences were made of wooden stakes, hammered in tightly, but they didn't extend around the entire community. Their stone quarries were to make other fences, to keep farms and personal properties apart, but they would do little to keep back an enemy.

The Chieftain's Balcony was the best vantage point, and Nomi hovered in the doorway as her husband and his brothers crowded out to take in the whole area. "What are they doing?" Kainan demanded immediately.

"Forming ranks." His youngest brother said eagerly, hungry for violence. "There are only a few hundred. Our bowmen can take them from here!"

"No, they can't." Kainan said seriously. "Father, look!"

Nomi craned her neck to see past them. She could see the ranks forming beyond the edge of town. Each man in the front rank carried a shield, half as tall as they were, made of the same black metal. How can they carry such heavy things?

The Chieftain saw the problem instantly. "With a wall of iron shields, our stone and copper tipped arrows won't get near the enemy. Our arrows would bounce off those shields."

"We have to ride out and fight them!" Kainan repeated. "Get around that barricade, and meet them up close."

The Chieftain scowled, fire in his eyes. "Yes. Gather every man who can carry a weapon. Arm them all." He turned to Nomi. "Nomi, gather the women and children. Take them as far from the battle as you can."

Nomi felt cold. The Chief was telling her to take them away from the fight. Away from the Town. Not to the Lodge. Not to the quarry. He was telling her to take the weak and run away.

He thinks we're going to lose. Nomi thought in horror.

~/*\~

Nomi was wondering how she was meant to gather everyone, but they all came running to her as the horn blew the warning notes again. The horn blew that signal when there were dangerous animals about, or when bandits gathered. But this was different. An invasion from a different town had never happened before.

Nuria was at the head of the crowd, with fire in her eyes. "Nomi!" She shouted to her daughter. "We have the children! Where do we take them?"

"Somewhere safe." Nomi told her, looking at the whole community. Some of them were running about with valuables, looking for hiding places for their wealth. Others were fighting over the weapons, trying to get hold of the best. Some were running around in circles, not sure where to go. The Godsons were already cheering, winding themselves up for the battle. The others were slowly gravitating to their friends, not sure what to do until someone told them.

She saw the horses being brought. They looked as panicky as the people climbing up on their backs.

"The Ark." Nomi heard her voice say to Nuria. "We'll take them to the Ark. The trees will cover our escape, and we know Noah has no interest in the City of Enoch, anymore than our own town."

"If we can get to the trees." Nuria nodded, and she turned to the women. "Everyone, move quickly, and stay together. Try to keep the children quiet. We don't want to draw attention."

The horn blew hard. The Godsons let out a roar, the human hunters kicking their horses into motion. Nomi couldn't help but watch after Kainan, leading the defenders. But even so, she heard the answering cry of the invaders; even from a distance. They were as eager to attack as Kainan was to defend.

"It's starting!" Nomi declared. "If you want to pray, do it now. As they attack to the East, we go west to the trees, and don't stop. If we get separated, meet at the Ark."

With the instruction given, Nomi looked back at the other side of the village. The timber barrier walls gave them just the barest glimpse past the town itself. She could see Kainan, leading the charge towards the invaders shield wall, throwing his spear ahead of him, the archers firing into the sky, trying to bring the deadly arrow points down where they could do some good. The sound of metal ringing on metal was loud enough to be heard, even at a distance, as were the cries of pain.

Battle was joined behind them.

Nomi could barely keep pace with the rest of their crowd. She knew she should be bringing up the rear, making sure her charges were safely ahead of her, but she was running for her life. The soft fur moccasins were woefully inadequate for this, and she could feel the ground tearing into her feet. She could hear the shouts of pain behind her, swords and spears clashing with armor and shield…

As they approached the trees, Nomi wondered how scared she was, because she could swear that she could see the trees and bushes moving… When she saw what was coming, she skidded to a halt, feeling the women bunching up around her, all of them seeing it.

Emerging from the treeline were multiple warriors, all of them bigger than the Godsons they'd grown up with. Their armor included vines and branches, to conceal them in the trees. The black weapons were in their hands, and Nomi knew there was no escape. They even had nets, chains…

"KNEEL!" The nearest warrior roared at them. "All of you, on the ground!"

Some of the women tried to scatter, and the nets caught them all. Those that were ensnared were attacked directly, slapped lightly with the heavy iron shields, knocked cold. Those that were in the center of the group had nowhere to run to, and fell to the dirt quickly, hands over their heads in panic. Nomi and Nuria quickly bowed with them, surrendering. Nomi felt the cold metal of chains go around her wrists, more around her legs. The instant she was secured, they moved on to the others.

Nomi heard hoofbeats, and looked up blearily, hoping for rescue. Two warhorses were drawing a chariot. Nomi had heard the word, but never seen one before. In the chariot was the huge Warlord that had visited their community a lifetime before. He was no less terrifying now. "What's the prize?"

"You were right, lord. The plan worked perfectly." One of the warriors said promptly. "As soon as the attack began, they sent their women and children this way. We have captured more than forty women, twenty children."

"Let the children go." The Warlord directed. "They'll slow us down." He looked over the prisoners, glaring at the older ones in particular. "Anyone who can't keep up is useless for our needs, and we do not keep useless things." He barked orders at his people. "Get them moving!"

"Should we call off the attack?" One of the warriors asked.

The Warlord chuckled, the size of him making it sound like a bear growling. Nomi shivered at the reminder of Kainan from this monster. "Let the boys have their fun."

Fun. The word rang in Nomi's head. They're pillaging and killing, and they're having fun. Are we that harmless to them? Is Kainan that insignificant? If he is, what does that mean for me?

The prisoners had all been lashed together, by rope or chain, and the Warlord tied the line to his chariot, signaling the horses to start moving. The chariot gave the chain around her hands a terrific yank, and Nomi scrambled to follow along, before she was dragged through the dirt. He didn't set a quick pace, just fast enough that the entire line had to push themselves to keep up.

Nomi could hear Nuria breathing hard behind her, a few of the other women behind her giving way to sobs when their situation suddenly became clear. They weren't just prisoners. They were spoils of war.

Despite herself, Nomi looked back towards her town for help, wondering if the battle might yet turn in their favor before the women were out of reach.

Their home was defeated. The battle was over. Nomi could see bodies, human and livestock, littering the ground. The Chieftain's Lodge, the strongest, most opulent structure in their world, was engulfed in flames; huge clouds of black smoke billowing into the sky.

I was in that building less than an hour ago! Nomi thought in disbelief. How did this happen so fast?

~/*\~ Eleanor ~/*\~

"It can all go away in a heartbeat, can't it?" Del said softly.

Eleanor slid her arm around his waist, giving her husband a reassuring squeeze. The two of them hovered over their son, sleeping in his crib. They'd made a nursery ready, but the moment they'd gotten him home, they moved the Crib into their own bedroom, not willing to have him a room away just yet. "We made it, dad." She reassured him softly. "We're home safe."

"I know." Del sighed. "But it's a wake-up call for me." He gestured around. "The place isn't paid off, yet. Medical insurance is still debating whether or not to pay out for your surgery, or the delivery. We have a new kid to support, and I get paid on commission… You just never know what the future holds, Ellie. I've prided myself so much on making our home a safe place where it's just us, but… Anything could take it away on a moment's notice."

Eleanor gave him a patient look. "Oh no."

"What?" He grinned at her tone.

"You're going to lose your mind, aren't you?" Eleanor grinned. "I had a near miss, and you're going to go crazy now. Personal doctors on speed dial, armed guards for the baby, cotton wool wrapped around everything-"

Del snorted, and kissed the top of her head. "I can't afford armed guards. But I was thinking about building a moat and a drawbridge."

Eleanor chuckled. "You're right, you know. Life is a gamble. The last few years, it's like the world is telling you to look both ways when you cross the street; and then a cartoon anvil falls on your head out of a clear blue sky."

Del winced. "You aren't wrong."

For a long moment, they looked at little Jacen without speaking.

"I stood there, staring at him, in the hospital." Del said softly. "I was making a list of all the things I would do for this kid. All the things I would be willing to do for him. All the things I would… I can't think of a single line I wouldn't cross, not a single vow I wouldn't break. Not if it was for him."

Eleanor smiled, and Del had never seen her more radiant. "I know what you mean. I've never felt so protective of anyone. Not even you, strange as that may seem."

Del regarded her a moment, and then went over to her drawer, and pulled out her notebook. "The other night, when I came back here to pack a bag for you, I found this."

Eleanor looked at her notes, and stilled. "Del, you asked me to stop studying with Martine, and I did. But I still have questions, and I kept going on my own."

"I figured." Del nodded, taking a deep breath. "Ellie, I'm sorry I started that fight. About Martine. Actually, the one about my boss, too. It wasn't because I was angry, or because you were wrong. I just wanted…"

"You wanted to avoid trouble." Eleanor nodded. "You figured the way to get by in life was to make a safe place for our family, and keep your head down. You wanted to stay out of the troubles of the world, and not make any waves that would bring all the crazy to our door."

"It was a policy that's pretty much worked for us." Del admitted. "But it meant I went with the flow when the people around me started to do things I disagreed with. And I don't just mean my boss and his kickbacks. Some of the things the guys joke about on site are downright obscene; but I didn't want to say anything." He put his arms around her, pulled her close. "I did everything I could to 'not make trouble', and it didn't protect us."

"I'm okay." She promised him again. "Our son's okay."

"I know. But it shook me." Del admitted. "Nobody's really safe. I mean, in the world. And our lives at their worst and most uncertain? We're still better off than two thirds of the planet. It could happen to us, Ellie. It could happen to us any time." He rubbed his eyes. "And I can't respond by wanting more money, more work… If I did 'play along' for the money, I wouldn't be a good father anymore."

Eleanor nodded.

"There was one line in your notes that caught my eye. About how 'not one word has failed'." He kept his voice low as their son started to fuss. "I will admit that I kept looking through the pad to figure out what that meant. I find that I'm suddenly very concerned about what the future might bring, Ellie."

"Me too." Eleanor agreed. "I can show you what I found." She bit her lip. "Of course, it's mostly the stuff I've taught myself; and things I've found by studying Martine's reference guides. I might be way off."

"Sounds like you'd need a teacher." Del said innocently.

Eleanor smiled, long and slow. "Sounds like." She agreed with elaborate calm. "And, you should know? You aren't the only one getting your heart turned around completely by this whole thing."

"Oh?"

"When I was in the hospital, and they were wheeling me into surgery, I prayed real hard. And since studying with Martine, I find that I have a name to address my prayers to. First time in my life I knew for sure what I was praying for, and who to." She gestured at the crib. "My prayers were answered, Del."

"Ellie, not to discount any of what we're going through, but plenty of atheists go into surgery too."

"I know. But I don't think that was my point. You said it yourself: All the rules can change in an instant. That's been true for a long time." Eleanor nodded. "You don't want me to change, but that ship has sailed for me. And if I'm honest, it happened months ago."

Del bit his lip. "It only just happened for me."

Eleanor suddenly realized she was on more solid ground than she thought. "Say, Del…" She said casually. "...if you're worried about the kind of things they might be filling my head with, why don't you come with me? After all, one day little Jace might have questions about how the universe works. Not money, not politics. Questions like: 'why are we here?'" She met his eyes hopefully. "Maybe it's best if we present a united front on that."

"Ellie-"

"Del, you didn't want there to be divisions in our family." Eleanor made him look in her eyes, making her plea. "You didn't want us fighting over the dinner table about controversial matters. And I can't make you listen, or believe. Nor would I try to force you. But I have a belief about these things now. And I don't want our baby deciding between us when he has to make up his own mind on something so… important. Because the rules of this world could change on us at any time."

That last line was almost exactly what Del was thinking, and he found himself nodding, before he even thought about it. "Well then." He said finally. "Where do we go from here?"

~/*\~

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